Thursday, April 01, 2010

Isaac Newton, Trying To Come Up With Something Pithy

If I have seen further, it is only by wearing really good glasses.

If I have seen further, it is only by standing on the shoulders of werewolves.

If I have seen further, it is only by standing on the shoulders of dire badgers.

If I have seen further, it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants. Specifically, titans. I don't think it would be ettins, because they're not that much bigger than humans...maybe frost giants, but I think they're all evil-alignment. Hold on, let me go get my Monster Manual...

If I have seen further, it is only by getting piggyback rides from other scientists. Wheeeeeeee!

If I have seen further, it is only because I'm a lot smarter than everyone else. Frankly, you're all a bunch of idiots compared to me!

If I have seen further, it has been despite my weird obsession with alchemy. What was up with that?

If I have seen further, it it is only by standing on the shoulders of archaeologists. Look! I'm eleven foot four! Today, I hear the robins sing...today, the dove is on the wing...today, who knows what life will bring? TODAY!

If I have seen further, it is only by standing on the testicles of giants. Angry, screaming giants.

If I have seen further, it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants. Do they still have giants in Fourth Edition? It was so lame that they got rid of gnomes. I had the coolest gnome illusionist, only she multi-classed into ranger so that she could use two daggers at once, and she had the Still Spell and Silent Spell feats, plus like a billion ranks in Concentration, so she could swordfight and cast illusions at the same time, and...hey, wait, come back!

1 comment:

Jason said...

If I have seen further than other men, it is because I have this really awesome telescope.