Something I was wondering tonight at work, when someone tuned to the "smooth jazz" station...
Are there other textures of jazz? Like rough, abrasive jazz, which you can put on in the background, but it'll eventually wear away at your nerves and make you tense, irritable, and in the mood to fight.
Or sharp jazz. You'll be listening to it, it doesn't really register much, then BAM! You suddenly get a big jagged chunk of jazz straight in your ear. (Presumably necessitating a tetanus shot.)
Or perhaps, moving in the opposite direction, soft downy jazz. Jazz so inconsequential it puts you to sleep.
Liquid jazz, which presumably conforms itself to any listener's contours...
Gaseous jazz, jazz so inconsequential you don't actually notice you're listening to it. (This last jazz is, of course, a purely theoretical jazz texture, as by definition, it's impossible to notice the existence of true gaseous jazz. In fact, I could be listening to it right now.)
All of the above is, of course, "free jazz" when heard over the radio, and only becomes "expensive jazz" when heard in concert.