Thursday, February 18, 2010

Shortpacked Is Right!

You know how all the "Who's Who" entries describe Batman as an "Olympic-level athlete"? Does that apply to every Olympic sport? I mean, is Batman an Olympic-class curler, able to throw the rock with pinpoint precision down the ice?

If so, who would his sweepers be? Robin and Nightwing, obviously, but who would his third be? Batgirl? Alfred? I think there are probably rules against it being Ace the Bat-Hound.

And who does Batman play against? Perhaps Mister Freeze and the Penguin, but who else would make up that team? Not Killer Croc; reptiles go into torpor in winter. Maybe they'd have to make up new villains just for the epic curling match between good and evil, like "The Dirty Sweep" (opposite of a clean sweep, of course) and "Black Ice" (the faster you chase him, the more dangerous he is!)

Or maybe I'm on the wrong track, here. Maybe Batman wouldn't be curling against other villains. After all, Captain America is an "Olympic-level athlete" too.

DC Vs. Marvel: All-Curling Edition!

5 comments:

Dean said...

Killer Frost would be the third bad-guy sweeper, obviously.

I'm surprised and disappointed that no 70s-era Batman comic featured Bat-curling.

Dean said...

With Captain Cold rounding out the team. XCurling opportunities are obviously limited in Central City.

E. Wilson said...

You're still approaching it the wrong way. He's an "Olympic level athlete" in exactly one sport.

Ping-Pong.

Anonymous said...

At one point, a DC write-up actually claimed that The Batman had Olympic athlete level talents in every ongoing Olympic event.

He could compete against Olympic athletes in every weight-lifting event, every acrobatic event, shotput, track, swimming, etc.

This is why many of us look at the adulatory fanboy claims that The Batman is better than Superman specifically because "he has no superpowers and is just a regular guy" and respond only with a sigh, rolled eyes, and a futiley sarcastic "r-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ght....!"

Anonymous said...

At one point, a DC write-up actually claimed that The Batman had Olympic athlete level talents in every ongoing Olympic event.

He could compete against Olympic athletes in every weight-lifting event, every acrobatic event, shotput, track, swimming, etc.

This is why many of us look at the adulatory fanboy claims that The Batman is better than Superman specifically because "he has no superpowers and is just a regular guy" and respond only with a sigh, rolled eyes, and a futilely sarcastic
"r-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ght....!"