Saturday, May 03, 2008

Friendly Warning To Battlestar Galactica Fans

Don't bring the series up around me. Don't recommend it to me, don't tell me about it, don't mention it. Because I will say things that will make you cry.

My room-mate's been watching it, and every time I walked by the computer screen, I heard things that made me grind my teeth in sheer bilious hatred. Every time he explained an element of the backstory to me, I found myself staring into plot holes that could consume whole planets. I found myself wondering how anyone, not just the series' writers but anyone at all could read these scripts and not say, "No, sorry, you need to rework this so that it actually makes sense as a story in its own right and not simply as a tortured analogy for post-9/11 America."

I could go on, but that would defeat the purpose of the friendly warning, and probably make some people cry, to boot. And I don't want to do that. I am a kind person, and I know how attached science-fiction fans get to their favorite shows. I don't want to tear your favorite series to pieces in front of you, ripping it to shreds by pointing out all its absurdities.

So we'll make a deal. You don't talk about Battlestar Galactica to me, and I won't flaunt my hatred of it to you. Sound good? OK.

(Oh, and Dane Cook fans? This goes double for you. Man couldn't find a punchline if it had a neon sign over it...)


Matt said...

Actually, I'd be interested to hear why, and I like Battlestar. Dane Cook we can agree on, but the first is more intriguing to me. Go on. I promise I won't cry. We're all adults here, right?

M. Robert Turnage said...

Couldn't agree more. It has become increasingly insufferable as it has gone on.

Unknown said...

There's something about BG that drive me insane too, but I find myself flipping the channel before I can put my finger on it.

One thing that I know bothers me is their insistence on EXTREME CLOSE UP every time someone is speaking, combined with the shakycam effect. Horrible cinematography.

Mory said...

I'd love to hear you rant about BSG.

So let's see: The last episode was excellent. This show puts all its characters through so much pain and misery, and pain and misery is fun to watch! I'm starting to like Baltar's new role as a cult leader, where he seems to be sincere about his newfound belief system.

Is that enough to get you to talk about it? No? Okay, some more it is.

The shaky camera and dirty sets create a nice aesthetic which is different from most science fiction shows. The acting is excellent, with all the actors making the most bizarre twists to their characters feel authentic. I like that no one in the show is qualified to do the jobs they're doing, and their best attempts at acting the parts make them look silly. That's humanity for you, to be sure.

Now bring on the criticism!

Unknown said...

I agree. Despite it's faults (and their are alot of them) I prefer the old show better. But I like the new shows SFX though.

Anonymous said...

Finally, someone who agrees with me. :) A co-worker thinks BSG is the most wonderful show on earth and insists on taping it for me. I find I can fast forward through it and miss nothing. Why do people like this mopey, self-indulgent drek?

Mory said...

Hey! You're not going to follow through on your threat, are you? What do I have to do, go through the characters one by one?

#6 said...

I got one for you.

It isn't meant to be Earth-based, right?

So why the English language?

And given the answer to that, why not just make it Earth in the future. Much more impactful and interesting.

Also where did all the minorities go ?

jonmcsingee said...

Aw, come on. At least give us a terse version of your top 3 reasons why BSG is so dismal in your opinion (make them good, though!). And we promise not to cry, lol. But find it in your heart to point out at least one good thing (Six is Hot?). Love your blog, man!