Wednesday, April 19, 2006

And the Winner Is...

Got an odd mental picture at work today, can't even remember what I was thinking of that led into it...oh, wait, now I can. I was thinking about 'Only Human', a Doctor Who book about someone attempting to create a "better" dominant species, send it back in time, and have it supplant humanity like we supplanted the Neanderthals. And I paraphrased the message of the book as, "Why? It's not like there's a prize awarded at the end for 'Best Evolved Species'!"

And then I thought, "What if there was?" It's not a very 'Doctor Who' idea, more 'Monty Python', but you have to admit, you can picture it. God stepping out from behind the firmament, saying, "Yes, thank you all very much for turning out, I certainly hope you enjoyed yourselves. Now, before the Apocalypse, I have a few prizes to give out..."

"The 'Best Evolved Species' Award goes to...the cockroach! Yes, sorry humans, I know you made a jolly nice run and I'm sure you'll win it next time."

"And the 'Best War' goes to...World War II! A tour de force production for all involved, with a twist ending I'm sure nobody saw coming."

"The 'Most Likely To Succeed' Award goes to Augustus Caesar...better luck next time, Napoleon!"

"And, for 'Best Prophet In a Religious, Sacred, or Fortunetelling Role', the award goes to...drum roll please...the Prophet Mohammed! Yes, wonderfully done. Unfortunately, My son was ineligible for the award."

"Again, thanks all for coming, and I sincerely hope you enjoy the total destruction of the material realm. Orange drink and cookies will be served."

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